At the beginning of this year, I set a small goal for myself: to find a sport that can be continuously upgraded.
According to the first principle - the nearest principle, skiing was ruled out first; the second principle - high exercise efficiency, ruled out golf; the third principle - relatively small positive feedback loop, ruled out yoga, Pilates and other immersive sports.
Finally, pole dancing was chosen (the strength type, not the sexy style). There are three main reasons:
There are dance studios near our several offices, which is convenient for persistent training. During the practice process, it extremely consumes physical strength all the time, and after each training, I am exhausted like Sun Zi (a famous general in ancient China). As long as you unlock a new move, you will gain a sense of accomplishment, and the positive feedback is obvious.
I have been sporadically in contact with pole dancing for several years, and I seriously picked it up again at the beginning of this year. However, in the first month, progress was not fast, and it took 1-2 classes to unlock a new move. In February, my progress suddenly accelerated, mainly due to a few key changes:
1. From group classes to private lessons
At first, I always attended group classes, but I found that I am the type of person who tends to slack off. Whenever the teacher wasn't watching, I would procrastinate. The slow progress led to a decrease in self-efficacy, eventually leading to a semi-abandonment state. Later, I realized that time is the most valuable resource; since I had invested time, I should make efficient use of it. Therefore, I communicated with the assistant at the dance studio and switched to private lessons entirely. With one-on-one guidance, the speed of progress significantly increased, and more positive feedback also strengthened the motivation to persist. Additionally, I could choose morning sessions without affecting work.
2. Choosing different teachers
At first, I consistently took classes with the same teacher. However, due to the teacher returning home for the Spring Festival, I had to switch to a new teacher. Moreover, as I moved between offices in different areas, the teachers from various studios also varied. This change brought unexpected surprises - each teacher's teaching methods and points of focus were distinct, offering different techniques. Taking classes with the same teacher would have led to diminishing marginal returns, but the combination of multiple teachers allowed me to understand and improve from different perspectives. By hearing diverse viewpoints, I gained new insights in every class. Spending the same amount of money bought me more knowledge.
3. An outlet for releasing stress
Recently, I encountered some troubles in my entrepreneurial journey, constantly worrying about how to solve them, which caused me to lose my appetite and lose 10 pounds within a week. Losing 10 pounds of fat is equivalent to reducing a burden of 10 pounds on muscles. A piece of pork weighing 10 pounds is still a large lump. Moreover, in the past, whenever I felt pain during exercise, I easily gave up. But this time, because I was so troubled inside, I instead felt that only physical pain could divert my attention, thus unexpectedly making rapid progress. Life is like this; as long as one can endure pain and loneliness, many things can be accomplished.
4. Combining with sports rehabilitation training
Pole dancing requires precise control of all body muscles. I found that many small muscles, unused for years, were almost in a "paralyzed" state, unable to exert force. Later, my favorite sister Danli introduced me to a sports rehabilitation therapist, and I described the difficulties I encountered while practicing pole dancing. He conducted two targeted training sessions for me. After the training, when I returned to the dance studio for practice, it suddenly felt like unblocking the Ren and Du meridians, allowing me to easily unlock many previously difficult moves.
Effective use of energy
Among them, the muscle activation exercises in rehabilitation training left a deep impression on me. The method is extremely simple: there is a series of simple movements, each movement is done in two sets, each set 8-12 times. Most of the movements do not require additional weight, only body weight is used. After a whole class, I have never felt overly tired, but the effect is extremely significant. I shared this experience with the therapist, who told me:
Reasonable exercise is not aimed at exhaustion, but at the effective use of energy.
"My knife has been in use for nineteen years, and I have butchered thousands of cattle, yet the blade is as sharp as if it were newly sharpened." Go with the natural grain, don't struggle against things, act along the natural texture, and you can achieve greater results with less loss.
I mentioned this sentence to the psychiatrist, she responded that psychological counseling is also like this. The essence of psychological counseling is to unblock those blocked places with minimal force. When the blockages are cleared, the mind will be healthier. A good intimate relationship also does not require effort, but is natural and effortless; a career worth sticking to long-term should also be enjoyable and easy.
This year marks the tenth anniversary of my entrepreneurship. I increasingly enjoy this state of mind -- surrounding myself with people who are upright, kind, and exceptionally talented; because of persistence, one can think long-term and be willing to endure the pain, unease, and loneliness along the way.
Most of the time on this journey, I am in an adaptive state, meaning that I can handle challenges and stress in a self-consistent manner, and I have a strong sense of fulfillment; I have desires, but I am not attached to them.
However, when facing real major crises, I still enter a state of stress. At such times, I can observe all my earliest immature defense mechanisms being activated, such as somatization, self-denial, comparison with others, and projection. Although it is inevitably painful to be caught up in these emotions, both good and bad experiences are valuable. I also had the recently released GPT4.5 help me try to repair these issues:
This process is also an opportunity for me to reorganize the obstacles within my heart, then leave it to time to heal slowly. I attended a Zhuangzi class at Peking University's philosophy program over the weekend. The teacher said, don't expect to gain any techniques or life secrets from Zhuangzi; he cannot help you solve any practical problems. But Zhuangzi's curiosity and passion for transcending everyday experience open up a new way of thinking for us: the vastness of heaven and earth, the insignificance of humans, life and death are not within our control, and worldly disputes may not have absolute right or wrong.
Stop endless mental exhaustion and self-denial. The teacher even joked, if you really want to negate yourself so much, then go all the way and die; but since we ultimately cannot die, we might as well live well.
We must acknowledge our own limitations; if we always examine ourselves and the world from an infinite perspective, then in the face of this infinite world, we will never be able to achieve internal consistency. In short: don't take yourself too seriously.
People cannot be completely self-controlled, but we should have a clear understanding of our uncontrollable aspects; recognizing our limitations and spending our entire lives peacefully coexisting with these limitations, living with a sense of freedom and relaxation.
Helplessness and Freedom
Don't use rationality to deliberately create motivation for yourself. A strong sense of purpose is hard to maintain long-term. Going with your nature may actually be better. Adaptability means accepting things you can't change or control. It's a process, first feeling helpless, and then possibly experiencing freedom.
Zhuangzi tells us: helplessness itself is freedom.
Helplessness is not a denial of the self, nor a denial of the existence of facts. It does not require emotional embellishment or emotional compensation. Helplessness itself does not imply any problem. Just like when children play with building blocks, they do not focus on the original purpose of the toy, nor are they attached to assembling it according to the instructions to achieve the final form. Even if the finished product differs from the instructions, children do not feel defeated because of it and continue to have fun. This state of not being attached to predetermined goals and not being bound by standards is precisely the essence of "helplessness."
Helplessness and freedom are actually two sides of the same coin. Having no complex motives towards the world is the state of freedom.
We may not be able to achieve true freedom, but there is indeed such a realm in the world. Facing the world, we need to realize that there are other possibilities spiritually, even though we cannot completely detach from reality and cannot start over.
Recognizing limitations and coexisting peacefully with them is our gradual path to freedom.
To know what is done by Heaven and what is done by man is the utmost! To know what is done by Heaven is to have been born with the knowledge. To know what is done by man is to use one's acquired knowledge to nourish what one does not know, thus completing one’s natural span of life without being cut off midway. This is the height of knowledge. However, there are concerns: knowledge depends on something else to be appropriate, but that which it depends on is uncertain. How can we know that what I call Heaven is not man? Or that what I call man is not Heaven? Only after there are true men will there be true knowledge. (Zhuangzi, The Great Master)
Finally, I'll share a recent progress checkpoint in my exercise journey, which also serves as a birthday gift to myself.